I don't really know how to write this, but I kinda feel like I need to write this for my own sake. I started kz at the end of 2015 and oh boy I had no clue what I was getting into. All I knew was there was a high skill gap and took a lot to learn. I took the challenge up, I will become good at this thing that was hard to do. I struggled, in fact I struggled for hundreds of hours, only completing a few "easy maps" I really did not have a fucking clue what I was doing I was just pressing buttons and hoping to finish the map even if it took me several hours and I was the slowest map run I did not give a fuck. I just wanted to finish. I played on an EU server for those first hundred hours (I was a console gamer and overall idiot and didn't know what ping was) and slowly I improved. Being on such bad ping there was a delay in my key presses, I countered this by spamming the fuck out of A and D. And it worked I was able to hit blues on EU spamming. One day an American came on the EU server that wasn't myself (shocking right) and he was good, like really really good better than anyone I had ever seen on the shitty EU server. This man was JWL. I remember thinking "he was a god" I wanted to be as good as him. I only fell in love with KZ more. I followed him back to US servers to a server called sG KZ Climb. This is where my journey really began. I found myself on Apricity watching Zach47 a map so incomprehensibly hard that I wouldn't beat it til thousands of hours of experience later. Watching people like Zach, JWL, Damien, Kirawr, Cloudff7tm, ZaNe, and many more, I continued diving deep into KZ an addiction was born. I was always silent on the sidelines, never using my mic and hardly typing. I was in it for the KZ. Until I met people to bring me out of my shell, LUq, Ballistic Bacon, Deeaygoh, Same (Akito), and others. My spamming only got worse/or better and I was eventually able to hit up to 13 strafes, my first ever 280 being 12 strafes I decided to go for longjumps with high strafes. This ruined my wrist. I was able to accomplish 282.59 with 13 strafes at my peak, and 284.74 with 10. That was peak, I kept striving for that 285 it was all I wanted but I would never reach it. My fucked up wrist and hand wouldn't allow me to. So this is goodbye, if you ever see me in a server again its probably just to get faded and talk. This is my way to hold myself accountable and quit my addiction.